{"id":815,"date":"2016-04-21T14:07:41","date_gmt":"2016-04-21T13:07:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/?p=815"},"modified":"2016-04-21T14:07:41","modified_gmt":"2016-04-21T13:07:41","slug":"trop-facile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/2016\/04\/21\/trop-facile\/","title":{"rendered":"Trop Facile"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"spip\">1<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai charg\u00e9 la bagnole\u00a0:<br \/>\nMicros, guitares, ukul\u00e9l\u00e9.<br \/>\nY fait un temps d\u2019 sauvage<br \/>\nEntre canicule et gr\u00ealons.<br \/>\nCe soir je f\u2019 rai l\u2019 guignol<br \/>\nAu fond d\u2019un vieux rade isol\u00e9.<br \/>\nSix cents bornes\u00a0! Courage\u00a0!<br \/>\nL\u2019autoroute est pleine de camions.<br \/>\nLa journ\u00e9e est maudite,<br \/>\nLes restoroutes sont en gr\u00e8ve,<br \/>\nUn radar m\u2019a flash\u00e9.<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai envie d\u2019 bouffer un lardu.<br \/>\nQuand j\u2019arrive, la bronchite<br \/>\nMe d\u00e9chire et malgr\u00e9 la fi\u00e8vre<br \/>\nJe me mets \u00e0 chanter<br \/>\nSuant comme si j\u2019avais l\u2019 palu\u00a0!<br \/>\nBlague \u00e0 part<br \/>\nSainte C\u00e9cile<br \/>\n\u00catre une star<br \/>\nC\u2019est trop facile.<\/p>\n<p class=\"spip\">2<br \/>\nQuand j\u2019arr\u00eate de chanter<br \/>\nLe jour se l\u00e8ve, il est cinq heures\u00a0!<br \/>\nLe barman fait dodo<br \/>\nPour les survivants, j\u2019autographe.<br \/>\n\u00ab\u00a0S\u2019il vous pla\u00eet m\u2019sieur Corbier<br \/>\nSignez sur ma plaquette de beurre<br \/>\nSur les pneus d\u2019mon v\u00e9lo,<br \/>\nMon slip et ma bo\u00eete de H\u00e9naff\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nJe remballe mon stylo,<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai les neurones en serpilli\u00e8re,<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai la langue en b\u00e9ton,<br \/>\nEt pour mes reins c\u2019est Pearl Harbor\u00a0!<br \/>\nLe patron du bistrot<br \/>\nQui m\u2019a m\u00eame pas offert une bi\u00e8re<br \/>\nPleurniche sur mon cach\u2019ton<br \/>\nEn astiquant ses dents en or.<br \/>\nBlague \u00e0 part, etc<\/p>\n<p class=\"spip\">3<br \/>\nJe suis flapi, cass\u00e9,<br \/>\nDormir est une obsession folle.<br \/>\nLe boss me dit\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Mon gars<br \/>\nJe vais t\u2019 montrer o\u00f9 est ton lit\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nJ\u2019emprunte un escalier<br \/>\nDont la moquette se d\u00e9colle,<br \/>\nLa poussi\u00e8re cache mes pas<br \/>\nEt \u00e7a sent l\u2019urine de brebis\u00a0!<br \/>\nLe boss me dit\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Mon grand<br \/>\nVoil\u00e0 ton lit\u00a0! Ton oreiller,<br \/>\nIl est un peu cra-cra<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai pas eu le temps de l\u2019 changer.\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nJe lui dis\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0L\u2019important<br \/>\nC\u2019est que je puisse me doucher\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nY m\u2019 r\u00e9pond\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Ton contrat<br \/>\n\u00ab\u00a0Disait pas qu\u2019 tu voudrais t\u2019 laver\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nBlague \u00e0 part, etc.<\/p>\n<p class=\"spip\">4<br \/>\nJe me sens d\u00e9faillir<br \/>\nLe boss me rattrape comme il peut.<br \/>\n\u00ab\u00a0Toi, t\u2019as faim\u00a0\u00bb, qu\u2019il me dit,<br \/>\n\u00ab\u00a0Je vais te faire une paella\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nJ\u2019envisage le pire<br \/>\nMais par bonheur c\u2019est beaucoup mieux\u00a0:<br \/>\nEntre les p\u2019tits grains d\u2019 riz<br \/>\nY a des vers qui dansent la polka\u00a0!<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai vomi toute la nuit.<br \/>\nJ\u2019ai d\u2019 la g\u2019l\u00e9e d\u2019coings dans les guiboles,<br \/>\nJe roule comme un zombi<br \/>\nEn \u00e9coutant Robert Johnson.<br \/>\nMon t\u00e9l\u00e9phone m\u2019implore<br \/>\nJe d\u00e9croche, mon agent me dit\u00a0:<br \/>\n\u00ab\u00a0Le boss du bar t\u2019adore<br \/>\nTu retournes chez lui vendredi\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>\nBlague \u00e0 part<br \/>\nSainte C\u00e9cile<br \/>\n\u00catre une star<br \/>\nC\u2019est trop facile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1 J\u2019ai charg\u00e9 la bagnole\u00a0: Micros, guitares, ukul\u00e9l\u00e9. Y fait un temps d\u2019 sauvage Entre canicule et gr\u00ealons. Ce soir je f\u2019 rai l\u2019 guignol Au fond d\u2019un vieux rade isol\u00e9. Six cents bornes\u00a0! Courage\u00a0! L\u2019autoroute est pleine de camions. La journ\u00e9e est maudite, Les restoroutes sont en gr\u00e8ve, Un radar m\u2019a flash\u00e9. J\u2019ai envie [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[55,60],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7OdVV-d9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=815"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":816,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815\/revisions\/816"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francoiscorbier.com\/corbier\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}